Queens Bay...

Hello guys,

As promised, I want to tell you a story..
This happened yesterday.
I went to Queens Bay with two of my friend. Both are boys and I 'm the only girl..

We got lost, and depend on 2 GPS just to find they way yet still lost. hahaha
We got fined for not having a parkign ticket ( that damn signboard always hides behind trees.)

I got frustrated because almost ALL signboards in Penang hides BEHIND trees and this also the reason we always exited in the wrong way.

In Queens Bay (qb), standard lah kita berjalan bersama kan, takkan nak tinggalkan mereka. I was walking in the middle with the two guys walking beside me, right and left. The funny thing was, Almost all the couples there just stares at us. hahaha K I suddenly felt superior then.
We went to the cinema and watched The MAze Runner. very interesting movie. :) They based from a novel and as expected, there will be a next book.

I HAVE TO FIND THIS BOOK! THE WHOLE SERIES OF IT!!!

As a reader, I don't really support an out of a book movie, because it spoils our imagination about the whole story. I ccan't really tell you guys about how we felt if the story in the movie are very different than in the book... sad, devastated and probably angry (?).

THE MAZE RUNNER successfully caught my eye... but not to judge early, i have to read the original book. I hope the producer won't be a dissapointment like what happened to Harry Potter.

Hope it will be like THE HUNGER GAMES... :) Can't wait for THE MOCKINGJAY part 1 to come out.

After the movie, we went to Borders... I bought a new book... the fourth book of the Old Kingdom thrilling prequel!!!

Presenting to you, Clariel...



I was thinking about buying the Murakami book but I can't waste my time by not buying a Garth Nix. It will be such a waste then! I got like 3 series of Grath Nix book. One of them are the Old Kingdom prequel. :)

then we went back home and I can't think of anything else anymore to say..
Okay since Now I'm a University student, I have lots of thing to do... So good bye guys

See ya in my next post. :)

USM - Universiti Sains Malaysia

USM... Sebuah universiti yang aku sendiri tak percaya aku akan jejak kan kaki ku ini..

Sejak datang sini, aku pelajari macam2. Accepting the truth about life, accepting the unaccepted. I learn to be strong. I learn to be happy with anything. I learn to be smart in my way. I learn to be grateful. I learn to love time so much. I learn regrets are good. I learn to make new friends. I learn to love USM....

This all happened just in 3 weeks, and there's a lot more to learn. I am growing up and I have to accept that. Being very far away from my family...I do feel homesick sometimes, but come to think of it, I'm kinda lucky because I can still go home at least once every month if i want to.

USM engineering campus, has their own unique spesifics. Such as,

-the amount of flies there is. (haha) about this, From KMTPh, banyak nyamuk, skarang banyak plak lalat. Siapa yang tak biasa tu mmg kena tahan lah skit. BUkan sebab tempat ni kotor. Tapi sini kawasan dia kawasan kelapa sawit and disekeliling ni org kampung dia ternak ayam. Baja yang digunakan pown guna taik ayam rasa nya. sbb bau dia lain macam je. hehe.

- LOngkang yang tak macam longkang. :) Perkara ini ada betull.. nak kata longkang bukan, nak kata saliran pown bukan. Konsep USM kami, kelestarian alam. :) Dan kampus kejuruteraan ini dikenali juga dengan nama "Kampus terapung" // "Floating Campus".
[next time, I'll try to upload a picture about this drain-but-not-a-drain thingy]

- The food is cheap cheap cheap! n_n I don't know about anywhere else but compared to in Jengka, Pahang... This place is very cheap! (for me) I ate alot since I came here and gained some weight on my face. Hehe...

K, now... I joined PALAPES DARAT here. Rather crazy... and the most out of my mind was that I joined ADIKARMA.. You see, Adikarma is an art society mostly focuses on dancing and live band. :) I entered under the name of DAncing. haha wierd for a girl like me to join this kind of activity. :P

I have another story, but i think I'l post it in another post. Since this one is already long. Have fun guys!! X)

here's a promotional video of Adikarma..

Change

I used to think I have a personality disorder.
But it turns out that I was an attention seeker. I just want people to see me, to know me and when they said they do.. well...I denied them. I scolded them.
I used to think I was mysterious, and there's a saying, 'The more you think you're mysterious, the vulnerable you actually are'.
I used to think, I have this some kind of psychology problem, but it turns out that I'm just overly stressed and to teenagers...my emotions and a reactions were actually normal.
I used to think, people wants to get to me on purpose.
I used to think that I'm not worth being in love and being loved.
i used to think that I'm fat an not good looking enough to have someone to like me, as in 'like' me.
I used to think that having a friend was not good. They could stab my back.
I used to think girls are stupid and annoying. And somewhat scary. At some point I don't even want to admit I'm a girl!
I used to think, I am a bad luck charm. Always bring bad luck to everyone else around me.
I used to think I am a loner. No one wants to be friends with me.
I used to think I am an introvert and can't change who I am. And I feel that I need to accept me for who I am and deal with the world that way..

I used to think...
I was a VERY NEGATIVE person...
Which my aqquaintances always denied... They said I'm a very positive person and they wished to be like me...


I used to think, "They are lying, they just said that to make me feel better".

Yet,
I am the one who are wrong.
I can be positive.
I can have many friends, but only few can be my best friends.
I can be who I want.
I decide Who I'm gonna be and what I can do.
I DO NOT have mental problems.

I can change who I am now to WHAT I want to be.

I am Invincible!

I change from "I used to be.."---> "I can..."---> " I AM...!"

We Are Humans And Only Allah Can Judge Us!
Not Other Humans!

Versus by Hlovate.. Jom berubah?

Bismillahirrahmannirrahim.
Assalamualaikum and a very good evening ( malaysia time )

I have just finished reading this book. A friend of mine, lend this book which is I'm quite surprised too. I was expecting a different book.

Anyway,
After reading this book, I do recommend you guys to read it. My fellow muslims... after I read this book, I've realized something, something that makes me want to change.. All this time I've searching for the turning point and I can't believe because of this book's writing, I realize that changing is very hard and I always wants the easy way. How stupid am I?
Betapa jahil nya kita sbb nak kan sesuatu dengan mudah... Bila tidak dapat,kita jatuh. kecewa dengan serta merta.

Sahabat sekalian.. Aku bukanlah di tempat yang sesuai tuk beri nasihat agama kat korang.. But believe me, changing is hard.. tetapi aku akan cuba untuk sentiasa beri semangat untuk berubah. Untuk anda semua dan juga untuk diri saya sendiri..

Jangan sedih kalau kita jatuh ke lembah diri yang jahil dulu..
Klaau kecewa pown, tabah kan diri dan kembali kan lah diri kepada Allah..
InsyaAllah, kita sama2 ye. :)

Assalamualaikum sahabt2 sekalian..

Never

Climbing the stairs.. oh how hard it is..
climb climb and climb...
Till half way,
A wall gets in the way.
With this wall, what are you going to do about it?
You know the dreams you want is at the top,
yet the wall is in the way..
What will you do?
What will you do?
What will you do?

Some just sits there and wait for the wall to break down with age..
Some find alternatives, like...hit it with a hammer or just kicks it.
Some use ideas..
But the worse kind of people, they went back down the stairs and give up their dreams...

Which one are you?
what is yor desicion?
Think and pray to Allah for guidance..

Never give up.

Pengislahan diri.

Bismillahirrahmanirahim..

Assalamualaikum and hello

Pernah tak korang terfikir nak berubah? Pengislahan diri?
Kalau pernah... alhamdulillah..
Aku pown ada juga lah ingin berubah.. ku fikir senang.

jauhi yang dilarang
Buang lagu2 tak bermanfaat
Jaga pandangan mata dari membaca atau melihat gambar2 yang tak bermanfaat..
Tukar attitude
tinggalkan gaya hidup yang bebas pergaulannya..
tukar penampilan...

Hakikatnya, wahai rakan2 seperjuangan ku..
Itu semua memerlukan kudrat yang sangat sangat sangatlah BESAR!!
tak terkira berapa kali aku telah jatuh semula ke lembah kejahilan..
Entah berapa kali aku bangkit semula fikir ingin berubah tapi tetap kalah dengan nafsu dan godaan syaitan..
Aku takut.. Aku masih takut..
Takut nak tinggalkan segala2 yg telah lama melekat dalam diri.. takut aku kehilangan kawan.
Aku takut sangat2...
Dan itulah kesilapan yang telah aku buat.
Iaitu, takut kepada hal duniawi. Nampak sangat hati aku ni, masih jauh dengan Allah...Istighfar lah wahai hati..

Sekarang aku terfikir.. kalau aku tulis semua perjalanan aku untuk mengislahkan diri dalam blog, dan orang membaca nya..
Apakah hukum nya? Apakah ini menandakan aku riak? aku ingin dipuji? Harap tak lah.. Saya hanya ingin berkongsi bersama2 rakan2 diluar sana yang ingin berubah juga..

Satu perkara yang saya belajar dari kegagalan yang lalu,
Setiap orang cara berubah nya berlainan..
Kita semua mempuanyai background yang sangat lah berbeza...
Maka wajarlah kita terima nasihat orang tetapi kita harus juga sesuaikan ilmu yang kita ada tu dengan kehidupan kita..
Mana tahu, cara orang lain itu kekadang tak boleh masuk dengan hidup kita, surrounding kita..

Mana tahuu....

nothing

Tonight, I can't sleep...
I wonder why?

No particular topic to talk about tonight a.k.a early morning now since it's almost 4 am.. and my mom will wake up in an hour to prepare for sahur.

hey guys,
since it's ramadhan now, how's your Fasting?? InsyaAllah boleh punya lah.. Ingat kalau nak puasa tu jangan puasa sesaje tau.. puasa biar betul2. Macam mana tu puasa betul? haaa korang search lah sendiri yer.. You can search them in Youtube, through books or better more... find someone Alim, someone who you practices Islam fully in their life.

Malam ni my English is abit loony, so, sorry for my broken English. Kejap melayu kejap English.. kalau pakai English ayat terabur. haaa lantak korang lah.. If you don't understand any of my posts in Malay.. please do ask. Please, no shyness is allowed!! XP

Speaking of shyness... I am also a very shy person. Well... at first.
After a few months together, I can be a very Idiotic person you'll ever met. Okay now I'm talking nonsense...

I'm sleepy now. sooo Good bye guys. Selamat bersahur kepada yang Islam!!!

~Cherish your life~

Random??

Assalamualaikum.

I never thought that business is very wide.
All these years I've always targeted myself to study for engineering and I even narrowed my mind without I'm realising it. I always condemned people that they were narrow minded and slow in development, but it turns out that I am one.


Sometimes, it is true...there's a saying, what you see in others, is what in you..

Maybe? I saw that girl is stupid and a very selfish kid and I want to avoid being friends with her. It turns out that I too, a selfish girl and I wondered why people are avoiding. (this is just an example)

Let alone of how people sees in you. You think you are good enough? Well there are always other people who are more better than you.
In my religion, we've been tought to see upon the people lower than you for you to feel grateful of what you have. No. Don't take this wrong.. What I meant by 'see upon the people lower than you' is by be friends with them. Respect them as how you want people to respect you.

Aku ni pown, bukan lah seorang yang perfect and aku realize ada org lebih tak perfect dari aku. Korang pown ada rasa macam tu jugak tak? kalau ada, baguslah... Sifat rendah diri mmg bagus tuk ada dalam diri. Rendah diri kerana Allah. Tapi jangan lah rendah kan sangat diri tu smpai sanggup binasa kan diri sendiri.

HEy guys?
I think I've really gone off hte topic. Actually there aren't any real topic for this post anyway. That's why I started from one topic to another totally different topic, but I guess there are some connection. Right??

Anyway guys,
Today's lesson that I have is to be happy with yourself and be yourself!! Be confident with yourself, for you are who you are and you know what you're capable of.. :)

Good night and Happy Ramadhan!! :)

to be written

Bismillahirrahmaninrahim...

Aku terasa seperti ingin membuat satu lagi blog. yang smorang tak tahu lagi tentang blog itu. dan aku fikir... aku nak letak segala kisah hidup aku dalam tu. I don't care what happens any more.. kind of like a journal...

Starting a new life...InsyaALlah..

Lies..

I remember when I first entered JMTi. If you read any previous post I've mentioned about this place. Anyway, as a newbie in the area, we have to be apart of the hostel activity to get to know better with the seniors. I still remember they call a roll call at almost midnight after a tiring day. I'm not sure why but in that particular roll call, they always advice us not to trust the boys in JMTi. Back then, I agree with them. I even met with a guy (senior)! I thought he was not the kind of 'guy' my seniors talking about. Well who does! He's a member of the Binnadwah ( an islamic society held, every place have one ), so people respect them for that. I trust him for that.

He pours sweet words and all, but back then, I don't even liked him. More to words. I don't even look at him just because I have a crush on somebody else.

Unfortunately, I did fell to his traps of ugly sweetness. I thought, WHY? Why did I accept him? Is it because my crush has a crush on my best friend? My heart broke and I need someone to repair it for me? I see... I think that's the case.

I never thought after countless of times I tried to separate myself with this 'senior', i've fallen in love with his Dakwah. but i was blind. I forgot why I won't accept him back then. I was confused and it's a relief I asked help from a senior (girl). I asked her opinion. Then she asked me something that reminds me of who he was(?). My senior (girl), she told a story about this guy. I got scared. Is this why he silents himself just like the way he did in the story? Is this for real?

I hate to be lied to. It hurts. Painfully and slowly killing me in the inside. How can they give false hope to those who are hoping? You're so cruel.

My mistake to even trust you. I'm not mad at you. I'm mad at myself for not learning from my mistakes. I'm too dumb to see that coming. It's hard. I've been lied and back stabbed by my own closest friends back then and even by someone who are very very very close to me. I've lost my confidence to trust anybody and I wrote it in here to let you guys know. If any of you ever got hurt by my harsh words or you got hurt by me not sharing anything with you, please accept my apology. I just got traumatized. Since JMTi, I tried to be open a bit...but it all ends badly. Always the same...

There are few people that I trust, and I know that person's heart... I just hope they won't let me down. I also will try to keep our relationship together if possible, FOREVER (I'm not a psychopath, don't worry).

Every person has their dark story and we as a person, wants to hide it from people as far from people as we could. We won't know other people's story unless they're willing to tell you, and if they did, you might not understand their feelings. So, we can't judge someone for their attitude and wrongdoings. Forgot about them. Let's think about ourselves. If you can't be a better person, how can anybody be a better person? Be a leader, and invite your follower.

I take trust very seriously, because breaking trust can break hearts more devastatingly.

~Cherish your life~
A.Q.

P.S. It's quite a relief I write it down here and open up a bit. I just step out of my comfort zone because letting people know bits 'bout me. (very sensitive about feelings and relationships).