to be written

Bismillahirrahmaninrahim...

Aku terasa seperti ingin membuat satu lagi blog. yang smorang tak tahu lagi tentang blog itu. dan aku fikir... aku nak letak segala kisah hidup aku dalam tu. I don't care what happens any more.. kind of like a journal...

Starting a new life...InsyaALlah..

Lies..

I remember when I first entered JMTi. If you read any previous post I've mentioned about this place. Anyway, as a newbie in the area, we have to be apart of the hostel activity to get to know better with the seniors. I still remember they call a roll call at almost midnight after a tiring day. I'm not sure why but in that particular roll call, they always advice us not to trust the boys in JMTi. Back then, I agree with them. I even met with a guy (senior)! I thought he was not the kind of 'guy' my seniors talking about. Well who does! He's a member of the Binnadwah ( an islamic society held, every place have one ), so people respect them for that. I trust him for that.

He pours sweet words and all, but back then, I don't even liked him. More to words. I don't even look at him just because I have a crush on somebody else.

Unfortunately, I did fell to his traps of ugly sweetness. I thought, WHY? Why did I accept him? Is it because my crush has a crush on my best friend? My heart broke and I need someone to repair it for me? I see... I think that's the case.

I never thought after countless of times I tried to separate myself with this 'senior', i've fallen in love with his Dakwah. but i was blind. I forgot why I won't accept him back then. I was confused and it's a relief I asked help from a senior (girl). I asked her opinion. Then she asked me something that reminds me of who he was(?). My senior (girl), she told a story about this guy. I got scared. Is this why he silents himself just like the way he did in the story? Is this for real?

I hate to be lied to. It hurts. Painfully and slowly killing me in the inside. How can they give false hope to those who are hoping? You're so cruel.

My mistake to even trust you. I'm not mad at you. I'm mad at myself for not learning from my mistakes. I'm too dumb to see that coming. It's hard. I've been lied and back stabbed by my own closest friends back then and even by someone who are very very very close to me. I've lost my confidence to trust anybody and I wrote it in here to let you guys know. If any of you ever got hurt by my harsh words or you got hurt by me not sharing anything with you, please accept my apology. I just got traumatized. Since JMTi, I tried to be open a bit...but it all ends badly. Always the same...

There are few people that I trust, and I know that person's heart... I just hope they won't let me down. I also will try to keep our relationship together if possible, FOREVER (I'm not a psychopath, don't worry).

Every person has their dark story and we as a person, wants to hide it from people as far from people as we could. We won't know other people's story unless they're willing to tell you, and if they did, you might not understand their feelings. So, we can't judge someone for their attitude and wrongdoings. Forgot about them. Let's think about ourselves. If you can't be a better person, how can anybody be a better person? Be a leader, and invite your follower.

I take trust very seriously, because breaking trust can break hearts more devastatingly.

~Cherish your life~
A.Q.

P.S. It's quite a relief I write it down here and open up a bit. I just step out of my comfort zone because letting people know bits 'bout me. (very sensitive about feelings and relationships).

Sahabat

Uhibukafillah.
Aku cinta kau kerana Allah.

Sebuah cerpen yang ditulis oleh Hilal Asyraf dalam koleksi cerpen terbarunya yang berjudul "Simfoni Cinta".
Air mata hampir berguguran tika ku baca disaat mana dua karakter dalam cerpen itu punyai masalah salah seorangnya dan seorang lagi sanggup gadaikan wang ringgit yang beribu demi sahabat dia.

Ya Allah. Indahnya persahabatan mereka.
Aku terfikir...Mereka adalah sahabat dari sekolah menengah, malah mereka juga tidak sebaya. Namun persahabatan mereka yang dibina atas nama Allah dan berdasarkan konsep Islam yang telah merapatkan lagi hubungan mereka.
Andai kata. Sahabat aku yang dua orang itu, aku masih ragu2 dengan persahabatan mereka terhadapku...Bolehkah ianya dipanggil sebagai persahabatan?
Apa itu erti sebenar persahabatan? Adakah aku perlu jadi sahabat yang baik jika aku mahukan seorang sahabat yang baik juga? Sedangkan aku sendiri tidak tahu bagaimana seorang sahabat yang baik itu...

Seorang senior aku, dia telah hantar satu post didalam Instagram. Menurut post itu, dia kata ramai yang menuduh bahawa ahli usrah dan para soleh dan solehah berlagak konon katakan "Aku sayang kau kerana Allah". Yang ramai itu menuduh ahli2 ini hidup dalam angan-angan dan fantasi yang direka-reka sendiri bagi mengelak dari kesusahan dunia yang tegar ini. Namun, senior aku melawan semula dengan mengatakan dia setuju dengan tuduhan mereka. Dia juga kata, dia memang hidup dalam fantasi yang direka semata-mata, malah dunia ini juga sebenarnya adalah fantasi juga. Realiti kita adalah Akhirat kelak. Dimana segala-galanya adalah benar dan disitulah dimana segala rahsia akan terbongkar termasuklah tipuan dunia. Dunia itu hanya lah hidupan sebentar dan fantasi sahaja.

Aku agak sentap tika membaca perkara itu. Ya. Aku setuju dengan pendirian dia. Bersahabat biarlah kerana Allah. Barulah kita akan tahu yang mana realiti dan yang mana fantasi. Bila kita bersahabat kerana Allah, sahabat kita akan sentiasa ingatkan kesilapan kita tanpa ragu dan dia akan sentiasa tarik kita ke jalan Allah. Mana tahu, dengan itu kita akan juga terselamat dari tipuan dunia dan syaitan yang tak lekang menghasut kita.

Namun, untuk mencari persahabatan sebegini...ia agak susah. Aku pun masih tercari-cari. Semoga kita dapat ketemu dengan persahabatan yang berlandaskan Islam pada suatu hari nanti. Putus asa is not an option. Dengan usaha gigih, suatu hari nanti, kita bakal temuinya.

Chaiyook!!

~Cherish your life~
A.Q.

A Comic. :)

HEllooo guys!!! and Assalamualaikum. :)

I've just finished reading this cute comic and I think I want to share it with you guys and girls. :)

That's the volume for the first three that I've read. Actually this comic does not belong to me. It belongs to my sister. We kinda like to collect comics and somehow I thought this comic is boring so I didn't buy it. Just reading it to fill up some free time and my first impression was like WUEEEKK!! It got something to do with Korean pop stars. This comic is what they call as "Fan's Fictions". Soooo.... the insides is not true. FICTION!!! Take note about that.

As I was reading with full of Yukkiness (I'm not a fan of Korean pop stars), the storyline caught my eye. IT's interesting. The mysteries, the naiveness, the evil and plotting of an evil plan. Somehow, the comic artist is very good in plotting a twisting story.

Here, I'm gonna say, yes I'm gonna say it.. I recommend you guys to read this comic. I don't know about world selling about this comic, but I'm writing this entry is to focus more to Malaysian readers. :)

Another volume is out. Volume 4. My sister said she wants to buy it and I'm gonna wait till she buys it. hehehe~~

This is the pic of the 4th volume.


Thank you for reading.
~Cherish your life~
A.Q.

A locket

Assalamualaikum and Hello guys,
For today...

I have many 'wants' in this world. Kinda materialistic aren't I? There's this one thing that I've been searching the since I was a little kid, and I can't seem to find one that are up to my likings. I'm pretty dissapointed when I found some and it may be too heavy, or too big or it's design are not my taste.

Do you want to know what I'm talking about here? Well....

It kinda looks like this. If it's antique the better. When I was a kid, I always read books that (old books by old writers) like Enid Blyton. Sometimes in this book they mention about lockets and as I search what is a locket...I fell in love for the first time (material-wise). Some people do not understand why I want a locket for? It just a simple looking and can open like a window where you can put pictures in it. "you can get it anywhere," they said. I don't want the just-can-get-anywhere locket. I want the ONE. The special one and to me, the special one is an antique one. Seems old and second handed, but it's not always to have a jewelry that is old. It must have a history to it and people doesn't want it anymore. so I'm dreaming like, I want to continue the locket's journey. :) Then pass it down to my next generation. Sounds fairy tail like but who cares. It's impossible for someone like me to get a fairy tail like love story ( like some of my friends does ), so why not I'm creating one for myself? Who knows a miracle can come along with this quest I'm taking.

How about you guys? What things that you want most? What is your dream? What is your fairy tail?

Mind to share?

Thank you for reading.
~Cherish your life~
A.Q.

Friends?

Hello and Assalamualaikum.

I always got worried about the how people thinks of me, but now... I just don't know. Here's a story about my little sister. She's in the 'difficult' age ( you know what I mean ) now. Easy said, in Malaysia, she's in Form 3 ( 15 years old ) and in this time of age is when I, too having problems with my friends. You see, at this age, we start to get more reserve and starts to find new gangs. We tend to think that our old friends are so outdated with us and think they're just not in to us anymore. They're not in the same frequency as us anymore.

Okay, back to my sis story... She's having probs with her friends that sometimes their relationships are not so good nowadays. Their age is when the word 'CRUSH' always comes into mind and 'LOVE' can break any friendship no matter how close they are before. I know this because I've been there. My sis here, her group of friends consist of 4 girls ( As far as I know ) and one of them have a crush towards a boy. This particular friend is very close to my sis, but my sis is not the type to even bother about crushes or boys at all. So this friend ( labelled as A ), goes to another friend ( which I label as B and she's still in the same group ) to gossips and do what an admirer do best and A left my sis. So my sis, who was left alone, she ends up to be with her other friend ( still in the same group which I label as C ). When A realizes that her feelings towards her crush has gone, she went back to my sis and finds that my sis always hangs out with C. 'A' got mad ( which I don't understand what's the reason is ) at my sis, and (according to what my sis says) A criticises my sis in Twitter. They got in a Tweet fight, but as friends always do, they make up fast. My sis are not satisfied though. She said, she back down in the sake of keeping her anger. Yeah well... on my opinion, obviously it is A's fault. Why would she leave my sis in the first place just for the sake of a boy who she has a crush on? Can you imagine how my sis felt? Which would you prefer? To wait for A like a faithful puppy towards it's master and wait eventhough you're damn lonely; OR go find your other friend ( in the same group ) and hangs out with her for a while? It's not a prob if you hangs out with another friend which is still in the same group. Well what's the point of calling it a group?! You're friends in whole for crying out loud!!!

Okay now, here's a bit of advice base from my experience. If you're in a group of friends with more than two people in it, it is crucial for you to be considerate with your friends' feelings. Don't ignore the others if you want to stick to only one just for a stupid reason. You're just labelling yourself as a selfish person! And we do NOT want that.

Saya teringat, kalau kita kawan bertiga, jangan tinggalkan yang seorang tu sendirian, takut dia tersinggung hati. Ini baru bertiga. Which is hard untuk berlaku adil, but not impossible. It's true because I once start with a group of 5 and finally ends up with a group of 3. Believe it or not, ahlinya pula adalah orang yang berbeza. Well, things happens and I'm grateful for my new group. Ahlinya, sorang ni kawan lama yg dulu pown pernah gaduh skejap ( kawan dari sebelum tadika ) and the other one is a new friend that came along with my childhood friend.

Even in Matriculation, my groups are still in contact, yet I made a new group ( new place always have new friends ). It is a group of three too. I don't know why it has to be three people. Fate maybe?


I think this is enough. It's a long entry and I know it's boring... I hope you guys gets my message. (I'm not a really good writer and I words are always confusing ) Yet, if you have any questions, please do ask without hesitation.
Thank you for reading.

~Cherish your life~
A.Q.

Just A CAmp

Assalamualaikum.. :)
This is a story about a camp I went from last friday to sunday.
Kem ni berlaku di Kem Biro Tatanegara Lipis, Kuala Lipis. And honestly, it's the best camp I've ever been to. It's not about the activities that matters to me.. it's the friends that I gain from there. I learn about true friends. I learn about trust with new friends. It only took us almost 3 days for us to be friends and our friendship will continue on.

Ini kali pertama aku pergi kem yang aku bergaul dengan pelbagai umur. from 16 and above. Boys and Girls,there's not even a single awkwardness between us. Okay, yes there is once. I'm kinda like a new kid there and some of the knew each other (partly from previous camp together). How i got to join this camp? Well, my friend asked me, and another boy came with us. His name is Aniq.

Anyway back to this camp. Overall, there's about 52/53 participants. I don't know really how many of us all. We then divided to 6 groups and I have 9 people in my group. It's 10 if includes with my urusetia of my group. We went through the jungle at night with only one torchlight to guide our way. We fell and tripped and hurt our skin together scrambling in the dark searching for the signs that shows the way. Some teams used more than one torchlight and it's totally unfair for us. After hurdling in the darkness around 3 hours later, we found the end of our tracks and suddenly, one of my team mates went histeric. We have to handle her from 2.30 am all the way till Subuh came.

We left her with someone in charge for prayer. After that we continue on with our journey. They give us a living chicken to take care of as we went for jungle tracking again but this time it's under the sunlight. With the chicken, we swim across the lake and we climb the hills through the jungle and finally, we have to cook the chicken.

Cooking in this camp is very challenging. We are not allowed to make any communication with anyone. No hand signals, no eye contact and of course, no SPEAKING. It's very challenging really! If I were to tell you about this part of the story, it will be a totally long story to tell.

After cooking, we ate them and we have this one activity. We will climb a 60 foot tower and climb down using ropes. I am afraid of heights and I can tell you it is a very high tower. As I got up there, the coach roughly pushed me to the side of the tower and forced me to asked for permission to climb down. As I do as he said, I still clung to the ropes and won't let go. Then the coach pushed my feet of the platform and I fell down, but somehow I could climb down as real as a professional does. I was like wow!! Such a waste of energy for me to struggle with my emotions.

The best adventure ends. In the night, we played games and gains more marks. Somehow my team's marks are the lowest so we fight during the games and got up to third place. We got excited!! :)
Long story after that...

The next day is our last day. It's saddening for us to go to our separate ways... The best part on that day was when they're announcing the best team ever. The team they called as JUARA ( Champion ). And that team is my team! At first we called out the 6th team because their points are the highest but eventually my team's number went up. We were like, "HUH?!!". Honestly, our team were the worst (we thought so). It is very surprising... till the time comes for us to say good bye.

Some of us ride the van and some went for the bus. Some ride their own car. The one who went by car and van we stopped by a place where there's a Pasar Malam Larut Malam are held. In there, there's a karaoke stage and it starts with my friend who wants to sing. We sang together and dance together in public. It was soo much fun.. :)

We then pray for Maghrib at the nearby Masjid, and continue our journey to find a place for dinner. After dinner we start again to go back home...That is the end of my story here.

Thank you for reading~
Assalamualaikum...
~Cherish your life~
A.Q.

Finally.

Bismillahirrahman rahim...

Assalamualaikum to everybody..

It has been a logn time since I've set my eyes on my blog and I kinda miss it too...

As I look upon my visitor status.. i was like hmmm, Okay. I understand since I haven't updated it yet.
Just so people to know, I have finished my studies in Matriculation. I was soooo happy!!!! Just yesterday I finished my last paper, that is physics, and today I went outing with my friends to a book fair in Kuala Lumpur. :) It is tiresome but every second worth it. i really miss them a lot!! Honestly. I can't say how much I miss them. My two best buddies. they always there for me and I hope they wouldn't left me behind.

This will be my first entry for after such a long time, and I'll post more, if you guys don't mind ( I don't mind to know whether you mind at all!). Tomorrow I will be going back to the book fair venue where I'll meet some of my ex-school mates and I have camp on Friday till Sunday! Some of my friends asked me, " Aren't you tired??". Well, NO. I do feel tired as a human being but some things just worth sacrifices for. I got the chance to meet up with my friends and I just have to grab it! I don't know the future...

To my matrics friends (those who read this), I hope you guys well and be safe. Plus, please don't waste your time at home by doing nothing and 'ternak lemak' as I call it hehe... Anyway, even if your parents wouldn't let you guys work, just go and find something useful to do. Like making your own projects. This is the time you can be free of doing anything! As for me, I know this is my first time to ever experience a looong holiday ( 4 months ) since SPM because I further my studies right after SPM...and i just don't know what to do now. After this camp, I help my parents with their work and maybe I'll go learn how to drive and maybe take a job. At least I can save some money for future needs...

That is it for today. Have to pack up for camp. So long guys!

Assalamualaikum. :)
Thank you for reading,
~Cherish your life~
Jaga Diri, jaga Iman...

Manja

Assalamualaikum and hello to everybody.

Okay now I'm pissed.
Aku tak heran lah kalau orang nak kata aku manja but please jangan libat kan parents aku. It's not like they were to be blamed to pamper me.Asal aku kata aku nak minta izin parents aku, sumer kata aku anak manja. It's not like I's depending on them for everything, and I ONLY asked them for permission when it only concerns with money. I can make my own decision too, OKAY!

Come to think of it, why would I be mad about this to those who accused me of something this silly. Some of you might think I was just saying this to protect myself by denying and give reasons. Well FYI, I'm not. I'm just stating the truth. And this truth are not only for me but for those who have been in the same situation as I am.

When you see a person walking by with their parents and always calls them, it's not that they are spoilt. We don't know their background so don't judge... It's wrong for us to judge them. Like when you said, " DOn't judge me, you don't know me". Well, you don't like people to judge you then why do you judge people? It's the same for them to feel what you feel. We ARE HUMANS TOO!!!

Try to think for a while. You only get your chance to be with parents from birth till you graduate from highschool. That if you didn't go to any boarding school. Imagine you have a child, you send your child for boarding school. DIdn't you miss your child? If you don't...I don't know what else to say. Okay, then your child comes home for the holiday. You want to spend time with your child but your child doesn't want to. Don't you feel heartbroken? Your child is in the age of feeling embarrassed when they're with their parents. They think that by being with their parents they shows to the world that they are not dependaple. They can't stand alone and can't make their own decision. YOU yourself might have this similar feelings when you're younger don't you? I don't want my child to act this way towards me so I try my best to avoid acting this way towards my parents. Haven't you heard about Karma? Even in Islam, what we do, we will get it back. If not in the world , then the Akhirat is there for you. PLus, to those muslims (I'm not sure about other religions but I think what I'm about to say probably have something to do with yor religions too), you know well that if you hurt your parents feelings it gives you Dosa right? Kau pun leh dikira sebagai anak derhaka tau. DOn't play play dengan hukum ALLAH ye. Skali kamu luka kan hati parents, derhaka lah kamu selagi kamu tidak meminta maaf kepada mereka. Sesungguh ibu bapa kita lembut hati terhadap anak mereka walau macam mana pown nakal anak mereka [ this depedns on situations and family backgrounds too, every family have different stories and comes with different lifestyle ].

So the conclusion is, not to judge someone by saying they're spoilt just because they asked their parents for permission or they always stick with their parents. You don't know what life they're having. Maybe they stay far and they only come home once per year. So they want to be with their parents whenever they have the chance. YOur parents does not live forever, okay? They die too. So cherish them while you still can. Push away your ego for their sake. Don't hurt them. They didn't raise you for you to abandon them, they didn't ask for your money, they didn't ask for anything. They just willing to take what you give. Even though it was just a piece of candy. They love you for who you are and why CAN't we LOVE them back as they LOVE us?? WHY??!

Ask yourself that and think for your own answer.

Here's another story for girls precisely, before we marry, we live with our parents right? But after we married, we have to leave their side and stay with your husband, right? Here's a thought...when you were not married, you didn't spend your time with your parents, but after you're married, you have to spend most of your time with your husband and children (if you have some) and you're gonna miss your parents, don't you? What if, your husband take you to live in a far away land from your parents ( overseas maybe? ). You got less and less time to spend with your parents. They'll miss you for sure, but they can't do anything about that. It's not your huband's fault that you didn't get to spend time with your parents anymore. iT's yours. I don't want to have any regrets after marriage. So I spend as much time with my parents even though I'm mad at them, I just endure it for awhile. 1 reason probably because I'm staying in a hostel and lives far away from my parents. But when I got back for holidays, I listened to them and make our bonds tighter. I love them. So it's no reason for me to be ashamed of it. They're my parents. NO ONE CAN REPLACE THEM. NOT EVEN MY HUSBAND. They're the jewel of my life. :)


<<>>

Thank you for reading such a long text. And the one I wrote in malay it's because I'm mad and can't think of any English at that time. I'm glad I get the chance to express my feelings here.

With love...
A.Q.
-Cherish your life-

Room cleaning!!

UUURGHHH .. oh assalamualaikum and Hello guys.


Today, for the second day of my holiday, I was cleaning my room. Just rearranging the furniture and books.
Have to rest for a while and don't know what to do so I guess I would like to blog for a while.

Hey remember my last post? Well, a classmate asked me about my blog and he asked me about the book that I've put on the last post. He asked me if he can borrow that book. I was like, wooowww... ~~O.o~~
Never have in my life, a BOY asking to borrow a book. Okay, there are several other boys who does but I didn't expect it to be him. HAHAHA Cruel of me to think of that. :P

Anyway I gave it to him, I didn't mind really if people want to borrow my books, but they have to undergoes an interview by me and me alone can give the permission. That book has a flexible backbone So I didn't do the interview him, no worries. But as usual, I do give him  the warning. "If you ever hurt that book, you will have to buy a new one!". I'm not serious really, to let him buy me a new one. Who would anyway? If he ever DID hurt my beloved book, I know that I would just let it pass. The past is past right? Let bygone be bygone.

Okay, now I am soooo out of topic. back to my room story. I just got back from my hostel and I found that the arrangement of my room just gets into my nerves. It looks like there's not even any room for me to walk!! I can't even see the floor clearly!! What with my sister's books and mine was all over the place. hehe~

I can't rest actually, but I'm too tired to go for the second phase of the cleaning. What's that? Well, for me the second phase of the cleaning was after I've rearranged my books at the bookshelf I will have to mop the floor all over again and sweep them again. or even vacuum them. To tell you the truth.. I really hate vacuumming... The noise!!! There's still a lot more to do here actually... I have to clear up the floor, the mess I've made, the rubbish etc etc.....~.~

I can't wait to clear up my bed and change the cover, and then FLY!!~~~ hehehe I mean, fly to the dream world. Enjoy the new view of my room or read my beloved books in peace. :)

Or maybee,,,, WATCH FAIRY TAIL!!! n_n

Okay now to report about my current reading.
I'm currently reading this book



Since I've finished taking the mid semester exam, I can read this book as relax as I can be. no worries since I'm still at home. hehehe~ Ok, have to get back to work.

Sincerely,
A.Q.
~Cherish your Life~


P.S : I think I need a glass of cold water before I resume my work. :P